Friday 11/21 – What did you want to be when you grew up? How did that pan out? Do you still have those dreams?
I couldn’t resist this picture. When I first started staying at home I remember my brother in law asking if everyday felt like a weekend to me. Uh, sure, something like that. I assured him that it was the opposite. As a mom, everyday feels like a workday.
My career path didn’t end up like I envisioned, but so much better. I should forewarn you that I have tried a lot of different “career paths”, but as corny as it may sound, the one I am currently on was the one meant for me. Growing up I always knew I wanted to get married and have a family. That was always first in my mind. I honestly didn’t think a lot about careers and jobs. What I wanted to be when I grew up was a wife and mom. That was it. In high school, you are pressured to think more about careers as you decide on what college you want to attend and what your major there might be. I always felt a little lost in that area. I was a smart, driven, motivated young girl, but I just couldn’t decide on something so big. I hated making decisions then as much as I do now. It seemed so daunting to pick a career that you would do for your entire life. I did at least know that I wanted to go to the University of Kansas for college. That was at least something decided. When I enrolled for my freshman year at KU I chose a career path that would lead me to nursing school. I always assumed I would either be a nurse or a teacher. My love for science drew me to nursing first. Sometime I decided nursing wasn’t for me. I then enrolled in some education courses. That seemed like the next logical thing to do. When I didn’t quite find my niche there either, I was lost. I think I even declared nursing as my major for the second time. Eventually I found myself half way through my junior year having still no idea what I really wanted to do. My older brother gave me some wise advice. He told me that I needed to just get a degree and stop trying to find a lifelong career. It was obvious I wasn’t going to make up my mind anyway. So I met with my advisor and decided to get my History degree. I had enjoyed history classes so I had taken several of them so it was the degree I was closest to. At that point I was so discouraged that I wanted something that I could finish within the four years without having to go longer. So History it was. I graduated with Highest Distinction from KU. I don’t say that to brag. I say it because I should have been proud, but I wasn’t. I hated that I was 22 years old with a college degree that essentially meant nothing to me. I had no more direction than the day I graduated high school. However, Jason and I married 6 days after I graduated from college so that was that highlight. I knew that work and careers were important, but I also knew that family was more important and I was starting my life with the man I loved. Somehow I felt a peace that everything else would work out.
There is more to my story…it took a few more years and a few more times of feeling lost and like a failure before it all worked out. I worked as a manager at GAP for a few years, I taught 8th, 10th, and 12th grade history for a semester, and I even ended up going to a year of nursing school before realizing for the third and final time that it wasn’t for me. I spent so much time trying to find a lifelong career instead of just finding what makes me happy. I felt the societal pressure that I had to fit a certain mold and live up to high expectations instead of accepting myself for who God made me. I am not a stay in one career at one job kind of person. My parents, my husband, and many others are, but not me. The thought of it makes me break out in cold sweats! I just enjoy too many things to pick just one.
So I still haven’t found a “career” by this world’s standards, but I am definitely exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up. I am a wife and a mom. There is no other place that I would rather be and no other job more fulfilling for me than raising my babies. I am also a business owner, entrepreneur and I love it. It is something different everyday and allows me to really be myself. I don’t know what the future holds for me, but I know that God does. I am choosing to be open to His leading rather than trying to fit a mold that doesn’t fit. For now, being a wife, mom, homemaker, blogger, and business owner is more than I ever dreamed and I am happy. I believe that I have reached success even if the world may not see it that way.