10 Signs that you might be a Soccer Mom

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My girls are getting older.  They can get their own breakfast, do their own homework, dress themselves, do their own hair, pretty much take care of themselves.  And it is BLISSFUL!  I am not kidding.  Those of you mothers that have tiny children, babies and toddlers, it does get easier.  Well, it gets easier for a while before it gets harder again anyways.  I’m guessing because we are still in the easier years, but if most kids are anything like me growing up, then the teenager years will be hard again.  (Full disclosure: I only have my children to use as an example.  We worked really hard at discipline when the girls were young and I feel like we are reaping the benefits of that hard work now.)

One of the fun experiences that comes with our kids getting older is getting to watch them play sports.  I have no problem admitting that I am a full fledged soccer mom and everything that comes with that.  Are you?  Here are a few signs that you might be a soccer(Or insert your child’s favorite sport.  During the summer, I’m a softball mom.) mom.

1.  Your car seats at least 7 people…legally.  While I am still fighting the minivan movement, I have a Traverse that seats seven.  It’s as close as I hope to ever come to a minivan.  Sorry all my friends out there that think minivans are somehow cool.  Jason, I promise they are not now and never will be cool.

2.  Your kids ask you why you have your jammies on when you just got dressed for the day.  Hey, these clothes may look the same, but they’re different than the ones I wore to bed.

3.  Chairs in a bag are a permanent accessory to your car.  They never get taken out because you’ll just need them again in a few days.

4.  You own a thousand elastic headbands.  None of which can be found when it’s time to leave for practice.

5.  The cracks in your seats are filled with sunflower seeds.  Seriously?!  In my car?!

6.  You have no voice the day after a game.  I try to just yell helpful encouraging things, but I can not keep my mouth shut.  I think I might have some kind of condition, like tourettes but it only happens during games.

7.  Some days you spend more time in your car than you do in your house.  Well, it feels that way anyways.  Take one child to practice.  Go home.  Get another child.  Take that child to practice.  Pick up first child from practice.  Take home.  Pick up second child from practice.  Go home.  Start all over again tomorrow.

8.  Your child’s closet smells like a high school boys locker room.  The smell of those cleats can not be tamed!

9.  Coaches are heroes to you.  I know I could never lead a team through losses and wins and practices in 100 degree heat and games in 40 degree temps.  It takes special people to do this job and I have so much respect for them!

10.  You know that at the end of the day, it’s all worth it.  Sports teach our kids so much.  Respect, resilience, hard work, determination, humility, and so much more.

I take the name of soccer mom as a badge of honor.  It means I sacrifice my time and my hobbies and my selfishness to support my kids and their interests.  So fellow soccer moms.  Let’s step out of our giant vehicles and stand together in our yoga pants to support our kids.  Soccer moms unite!!

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Sibling Friendship

I have one brother that is a little over 2 years older than me. We were each other’s primary playmate when we were little. I think he viewed me as a nuisance most of the time, but I was all he had, so he put up with me. I have a terrible memory, so I honestly don’t remember a lot of specifics, but I do remember a lot of fun times playing with him. He may remember them as me stealing his paper (I loved to draw scribble) and always being in his room. As my older brother I looked up to him a lot. In my eyes he was super cool. As we got older, we became interested in completely different things. Not only because we were different gender, but because we were also just different. The things I was into he was not. The people I hung out with, he did not. The music I listened to, he did not. Honestly, just about everything about us was different. We were not near as close through middle school and high school. Then he left for college. He moved to Lawrence to go to KU. We rarely talked. When I graduated, I ended up at KU too. Even though we were in the same town at the same college, we didn’t spend a lot of time together. It wasn’t until after college that we started to really connect again and make an effort at our relationship. Even today, we are still very different in a lot of ways, but we have grown to accept and respect our differences. We love each other because we are family and that matters more than any differences in interests or personalities. Its funny how much a little life living and maturity can change things. I am thankful to have a big brother that I know will be there for me and loves me no matter what and I feel the same for him. We may never be best of friends, but we will always maintain a close relationship.

I have friends that have sisters so I had an idea of how special the sisterly bond can be, but I had never seen it firsthand. Now that I am a mom of all girls I am seeing it develop daily and look forward to watching their relationships grow and change over the years.

Our older two girls are pals.silly

Over the years their bond has really developed as they have been each other’s number one playmate. From day one Ellasyn was smitten with her little sister, Edyn. She has always showered her with love and willingly shared everything with her. She takes care of her and watches over her constantly. That love is reciprocated from Edyn, but sometimes looks a little different. She has a hard time always wanting to share, but is very loving to her big sister. She looks up to Ellasyn so much. She generally wants to answer however Ellasyn answers and wants to do everything Ellasyn does. She has so much fun playing with her and learning from her. They also share a bedroom and can often be heard talking to each other long after bedtime each night. Their pillow talk is precious! Elllasyn starting school has been a huge transition for them both as they learn to be away from each other and have limited playtime together. I love seeing the close bond they share and pray daily that it will continue as they get older.

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From the start Edyn fell head over heels for Ensley. She absolutely adores her! In fact, I often have to remind her that she does not need to be touching her all the time.

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Their bond continues to grow now that Ellasyn is at school all day and as Ensley gets old enough to play more. Just as Ellasyn taught Edyn, now Edyn is teaching Ensley. I often hear Edyn talking to Ensley just the way Ellasyn used to talk to her. It is so fun to watch how they interact. There are times when Ensley is all about Edyn and then there are times when she has had enough of her always touching her. So far, they both seem to have more strong personalities so it will be interesting to see how they mesh as they get older. Edyn is great at taking good care of Ensley and always looking out for her. She can also always make Ensley laugh with her silliness. Their bond is very playful.

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Ellasyn’s bond with Ensley is more of a motherly role than a playmate so far.

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That may change as Ensley continues to be able to play more of the games the big girls play. Either way, they still have a special connection. Their relationship is very loving. Ensley lights up when she sees Ellasyn and loves to give her hugs and kisses. Just as Ellasyn has always watched out for Edyn, she does the same for Ensley. She is so responsible at making sure little things are picked up Ensley is only playing with things that are appropriate. The only thing tricky about their relationship so far is that there are a lot of things that Ellasyn wants to do that Ensley disrupts. She has had to learn to sit up at the bar int he kitchen or at the dining room table to color or play with things that she doesn’t want Ensley to get. She loves Ensley, but can sometimes get frustrated with her too.

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I know this is just the beginning of the bonds between these three girls. I am excited to see what will come as they continue to grow. I also know that there will be times when they may not be such close friends. I think that is just part of the journey of growing up. I am okay with it as long as they come back together eventually and realize just how important sibling relationships are and how special it is to have a family full of sisters.  I welcome any advice from mothers of girls and/or those who have sisters on how to foster these bonds and keep them strong.

all3I am one extremely blessed mama!! signature_janae

 

You are not invisible to God.

My friend, Erin, and I have been struggling lately with feeling invisible to our families.  We spend hours each day cleaning up after our kids, our husbands, and of course ourselves, but no one ever sees.  I often have the thought that I should just not pick anything up and let my family get lost in the piles of their own junk.  No, that won’t work.  I would go insane before any of them would even notice the piles forming.  Maybe I should throw a fit until everyone thanks me for all the hard work I do and recognizes the countless hours I spend behind the scenes.  No, that’s not the example I want to set for my kids, nor do I want my husband to think that’s what he should do (I know I don’t thank him enough for all he does at work every day.)  What’s the solution?  Is there an answer?  God brought me this video several years ago at the exact moment I needed it.  I saw it as I was going through some old blog posts yesterday and it spoke to me just as loudly as it had the first time I watched it.  Maybe it will speak some truth to you today also.

 

Facebook is a social burden.

First I have to tell you that I love Facebook.  I love seeing pictures of the kids of people that I went to high school with.  I love being able to post pictures and know that all my family and friends can see them automatically.  I love knowing what’s going on in peoples lives without having to call or text or schedule a meeting.  From the people that pop in to post a pic of their knew baby when I didn’t even know they were pregnant to the friend that I know is having an amazing day because her post for the day was so positive.  I love it!

But it also drives me crazy.  You can’t really win.  Doesn’t it bug you when people get on Facebook to air out all their dirty laundry?  The ones that don’t have anything positive to say…EVER.  I don’t want to the hear all about your problems.  I’ve got enough problems of my own.  It’s such a joy killer.

But then there’s also a very real thing called Facebook envy.  I’m a little guilty of this myself.  Some people’s lives just seem so amazing on Facebook.  You mean so-and-so got to go to Hawaii.  And you-know-who moved into a new house.  Why don’t I ever get to do anything like that?  Or, friend-from-church is such an awesome Christian.  She reads her Bible all the time (I know this because she posted it on Facebook) and I’m sure she’s at church every Sunday (I mean she posted about it last week) and she probably does Bible study with her kids too (I’m pretty sure I remember her posting about that a year ago.  She must still be doing that.).  Or, lady-from-the-gym exercises all the time.  I always see her checking in at the Y.  I need to be better at that.  It’s so easy for people to come across as completely put together on Facebook.  The reality is that friend-from-church only occasionally gets around to her Bible study (she just happens to post about it every time), she hasn’t been to church in a month (I just haven’t noticed) and there was just that one time that she did Bible study with her kids.  And lady-from-the-gym checks in every. single. time. she’s at the Y.  People aren’t actually who they are on Facebook.  I’m not.  I purposefully don’t post anything negative on there.  Not because I’m perfect and my life is never hard, but because I don’t want to be a negative person.  But that makes me appear to be someone that I’m not just like everyone else on there.  I KNOW this and yet I still struggle with it.

How in the world could I possibly expect my almost eleven year old daughter to figure that out?!  This is the main reason we have said, “no” to Facebook and Instragram, for now.  Not to mention that it’s a huge platform for bullies and it’s one giant popularity contest.  All things that I don’t think she’s ready for yet.  My hope is that some day she’ll look back and understand and maybe even be thankful for our decision.  Facebook is a social burden.  When you enter that world, you’re not only responsible for being able to control your own emotions, but for how your posts will effect others.  I’m not trying to keep her from all the fun that comes with social media.  I just want her to stay little for just a tad longer.  To not have to deal with the drama and the hurt feelings and the responsibilities that come with social networking.  I want her to worry about things like who she should invite to her birthday party not how many likes the picture she posted today has.  Is that totally unreasonable?

Facebook is a social burden.On a side note, have you heard about the experiment some people are trying.  The theory is that by not “liking” things on Facebook your news feed will become more neutral.  Facebook figures all those “likes” into their algorithm that decides what shows up in your news feed.  So maybe if you’re not actively feeding that algorithm, you’ll get to see things more consistently.  I thought I’d try this to see what happens because I really preferred my newsfeed when everything showed up there and I could scroll through it until I saw the last thing I had already seen and know that I had seen everything.

It’s been over two weeks since I have “liked” anything.  My news feed does seem more calm, but I also feel like I’m missing out on some things.  I haven’t seem some of the posts from the “regulars” in my feed.  Even the ones I like to see.  It may take away from some of the junk you see, but I think it also takes away from some of the things you really want to see.  Plus, I sort of hate people not knowing that I like their stuff.  I spent that two weeks commenting on a lot of things that I wanted people to know I thought was cool simply because I couldn’t just “like” it.  Well, then I got lots of obnoxious alerts on my phone that random-person commented on my friends photo that I had commented on.  This almost seemed like more of a hastle than just scrolling through some unwanted posts on my newsfeed.

Give it a try if you want, but it’s definitely not the epic solution to the horrific newsfeed problems.

Here’s a little throwback on this wonderful Thursday.  My precious Porsha as a baby and now so very, very grown up and yet still so very, very much to learn.

Porsha as a baby

porsha grown up

 

Fall Fashion

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I love Fall! I love the smells, the colors, the crisp air, the anticipation of the holidays, and the fashion. It doesn’t hurt that I have a fall birthday too. I don’t put a lot of effort or thought into my fashion during the summer. I tend to wear my running clothes all day every day. There is just something about the feeling of being hot and sweaty in cute clothes that bothers me. Being hot and sweaty in workout clothes seems normal though. So once fall rolls around it is refreshing to actually feel like I am getting dressed each day. Don’t misunderstand. I still don’t take the time or effort to try to look cute everyday, but much more than in the summer. I think it also has to do with the fact that I love fall clothes so much more than summer clothes too. Fall has moved in early around here. It truly went from 95 one day to 60s and 70s the next. So in trying to get prepared, I have come up with 5 must haves for your fall closet. I feel that these are 5 things that will last more than one season too because who wants to spend money on something that is only in style for one year?

1. Leopard Print

Leopard print is the new neutral and can be found everywhere this fall. Piperlime has an entire section all about leopard print. My favorite way to mix it in is through shoes. There are so many cute options of leopard heels and slip on tennis shoes this fall. I am not a belt person because I am so short waisted, but I think they look great on other people. This skinny belt is another great way to add in a little leopard print. I love that it adds a fun flare to any outfit. All of these options are found at Target. These are budget friendly options to add a little leopard to your wardrobe this fall. I promise you will wear it more than you think.

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2. Black/Gray Denim

I love jeans. Not necessarily because they are comfy, but because they are a staple. They provide easy styling for me and keep me warm. Those are two essentials in my fashion. This year black and gray denim is big and I am so excited about it. Not only does it create some variance, but is also more slimming. These neutrals will go with anything too. Pair them with tops just as you would regular denim. The options here are all found at either Gap or Old Navy. The far left are my personal favorite from Old Navy. They are the Rockstar Mid-Rise Super Skinny. You are sure to find a pair in the fit you like best.

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3.Plaid

As I talked about in this post, plaid is huge this fall. Again, there are so many options out there of how to add this to your wardrobe. The easiest is to snag a cute plaid shirt, but there are other fun ways too. Be on the lookout for all things plaid-shoes, coats, vests, shirts, and pants. Add it in as much or as little as you like, but be sure to get your hands on something plaid. The shirts and dresses here are from forever21. The puffer vest is from GAP and the shoes are from Target. plaid

4. Booties

If you thought booties were going away you were wrong. They are here to stay. I cannot even begin to show you all of the super cute styles available this year, but I will share a few. These are such a great staple in your closet as they can be worn so many different ways. Wear them with skinny jeans, skirts, dresses, or your other denim too. There are now booties in nearly every color and style imaginable. From flats, heels, to wedges, you are sure to find a pair (or two) that works for you.  They will quickly become your go to fall shoes. These are all from modcloth.com. It is a fun (new to me) online store I have found with some really great stuff at good prices.

booties5. Fringe

Fringe is everywhere for this fall from jackets, boots, kimonos, purses, and jewlery. I love it! I think it is so fun and unexpected. It sure spices things up just a bit. Of all the trends listed, this is the one that is probably the least likely to stay around as long term, although I expect it to still be more than one season. The fringe boots are from Target (I have a pair and love them). The purse is from another new to me online place called Chicwish. The super cute lace fringe kimono is from a smaller online retailer called Shop Love Threads that I have recently stumbled upon. And the fringe necklace if from Forever21.

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Happy Fall fashion shopping to you all. I hope you love these trends as much as I do.

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